Things Inside
by Cheeky Slytherin Lass
Summary: Dean dreams of vengeance, but Luna knows that he's better than that.


**Written For:**

 **Convince Me Competition (DeanLuna)**

* * *

" _Let's vow to never become the monsters that we are trying to protect ourselves from."_

 _-Rudy Francisco_

* * *

Dean is surprised by the sudden soft weight on his shoulder. He isn't used to company when he comes to the shore to collect his thoughts.

"You can't sleep either?" Luna asks.

Dean resists the urge to roll his eyes. "Obviously," he chuckles, turning to look at her.

The moonlight dances across her pale skin. The salty sea air brushes her mess of blonde hair across her face. He's never really thought of her as anything more than just that daft Ravenclaw girl will impossibilities on her tongue, but now, somehow, she looks like so much more, like a goddess of the moon from those mythology books his youngest sister loves so dearly.

She sits beside him, bare feet digging into the sand. "Daddy told me that when you can't sleep at night, a good walk is the best remedy."

"He might be onto something," Dean says, pulling his gaze from her and resting it over the moon's reflection over the restless sea.

"He also says that talking can cure things in a way no potion or spell can."

Dean bites the inside of his cheek. He's only ever really opened to Seamus. It isn't easy trusting someone enough to make yourself so completely vulnerable.

"Nightmares?" she asks. "I hear you at night, tossing and groaning."

"Ted," Dean admits. "I keep seeing it over and over in my head. I begged him to come with us when the Snatchers found our camp. But he wouldn't. He said he would buy us some time, told us to run."

"And you did."

"I'm a Gryffindor! I shouldn't have been a coward. I should have stayed by his side and fought them off."

Her hand rests on his, sending a little jolt through his body. Dean relaxes ever so slightly.

"He shouldn't have died," he sighs. "I could have-"

"You were brave. You made sure Griphook made it to safety. That's very honorable," she says softly. "Many wizards wouldn't care about the lives of creatures."

Dean shakes his head. "I want those men dead," he says, and even he is surprised by the harshness of his voice.

He's spent so many nights thinking the words, but he's never dared to say them aloud. He's so young, and young men shouldn't have such bloodthirsty thoughts. It goes against all the Scriptures his mother has ever taught him. But the rage is there, the helplessness, the need to make someone pay for what they've done, not just to Ted, but to so many innocent people.

"You don't mean that," Luna says, and her thumb grazes gently over his knuckles.

"I do. Those bastards made me and others like me run when we should have been there fighting. They've killed so many. Why shouldn't we lower their numbers?" he demands. "Why shouldn't they suffer the way we've suffered? They've taken your father! You may never see him again! Are you really okay with that? Because I sure as hell am not!"

Luna is silent for several minutes. Dean feels a new heat flood his cheeks, a heat that has nothing to do with his anger. He's afraid that he's scared her.

"No," Luna says. "I miss Daddy. I worry about him, and I'm afraid that they will hurt him. He's a gentle soul."

"You're so much like him, then."

"But he wouldn't want me to become a murderer to save him. I'm sure that Ted wouldn't want that for you, either," she reasons. "I didn't know him, but I'm sure he was a good man."

"One of the best I've ever known," Dean agrees, smiling. "He looked after me like a father would."

"What good man would want others to have blood on their hands?" Luna asks. "You can fight without sinking to their level. He would have wanted you to be better, Dean. I know he would have."

Dean is suddenly aware that his body is trembling. His chest feels so tight, like there's a heavy weight upon him, crushing him. He turns, pulling Luna into his arms, resting his head on her shoulders as he cries.

She rubs his back gently. "There there," she says quietly. "It's okay to be angry, Dean. It's okay. Everything is okay."

He lifts his head and cups her face gently in his hands before kissing her.

He doesn't know why he does it. Until this moment, he's never really talked to her beyond hearing her impossible conspiracies and theories while gathering firewood. Before that, she had just been Loony Lovegood, little more than a name and face in the corridors of Hogwarts.

But when their lips meet, he can feel the storm inside him calm. He can feel her warmth pierce his soul, can feel the hope war against the loneliness within.

Dean pulls away reluctantly. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have- I didn't mean to be so… Perhaps that was rude."

"I rather liked it," Luna says with a smile. "I've never done it before. It's quite nice, isn't it? Kissing?"

"Very nice," he agrees. "I just-"

"You were lonely. I was here," she says. "I understand."

"Being with you is the first time in a while that I've felt okay," he explains. "Losing Ted, those thoughts… They've started to break me. But you were here, and I finally felt okay."

She takes his hand in hers. "Then I will be here as long as you need me."


End file.
